Message Boards - A new hope

From: AntEGM111 To: alt.fan.sailor-moon Subject: [OT] Is it too late? Sent: 12/21/00 11:32PM BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT > Bush to be smitten later today > > In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, > under > God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last night's Supreme > Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush. > > "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on > a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm not going to lie back and let Bush > get > away with this bullshit." > > "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in > Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who > voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly > 20,219 > votes." > > Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict > overrules > the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, > giving > him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for > possible grounds for appeal. > > "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist > Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential > Election > is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state > of > Florida." > > "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of > him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." > > God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, > explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no > grounds > to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot." > > "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real! > The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them: > Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..." > > Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. > Bush's > prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In > an > act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all > of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and > possessions, > sold his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate > into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.